My son sleeps in the dark now

My son, Jacob, stopped sleeping with a night light about 3 days ago. He's 6.

I have no idea why. I had nothing to do with it. I got annoyed with my husband when I went to check on the kids and J's room was dark...really dark. I thought Matt was just being careless. My poor baby could wake up in the middle of the night and be frightened, I thought.

I began to gripe at him and he told me J told him he didn't need it anymore. Heh? Since when? He's had some kind of extra light while sleeping since birth! And no one consulted me about it.

And I guess that's what's been bothering me, subconsciously. I didn't have anything to do with it. I didn't talk him into it, he didn't ask me questions about it. Matt says he doesn't know where it came from either. I'm proud of him, of course, for taking big boy steps. I think I slept w/ a night light until teen years most likely.

But as a homeschooling mom, there is very little about his life I'm not aware of. I can tell you exactly what he's learning, what he reads for fun, what he ate for lunch, how he reacts to different forms of correction, why he prefers to use blue erasers over orange ones, how he's equally talented with numbers and words in a way that boggles my mind, when to push him and when to back off, that some of his most insightful comments come during "school time" that have nothing to do with "school" if I slow down long enough to let them flow.

I think some folks think people homeschool because they just can't give up their babies to other people. That we're smothering them and we're holed up in our houses avoiding reality. The ones I know consider in great detail their children's gifts, talents and weaknesses and work very hard to get them prepared for life in every area: academically, domestically, professionally, spiritually, socially (yes, we do socialize our children just not in institutional schools).

Since the day Jacob was born I've always known that my job is to help prepare him for life without me in it...at least without me in the same house. To be light in a dark world. So when I really think about it, I have to believe that maybe I do have something to do with his new-found independence from an artificial light source...and it started somewhere around January 2, 2001.

Ok...Laser Treatments Hurt, But the Granny Stockings are Worse

Here's what you must know before getting your veins zapped (and it has nothing to do with the procedure itself):

1. Get a professional fitting for your support hose.
2. Expect crazy hand cramps from yanking on your support hose.
3. No booze, no hot showers and no aspirin, yada, yada, yada for 5 days. *You can take Tylenol for your crazy hand pain from yanking on support hose.)
4. Oh, yes, get a professional fitting for your support hose.

I made it through the laser zapping pretty well. It did hurt, but I endured for about 20 minutes. Some areas hurt worse than others, but it all hurt. I numbed up as best I could with LMX (some over-the-counter lidocaine), used the squeezy thing, and tried to distract myself with the latest Martha Stewart Living magazine. I couldn't really read it, just flipped pages quickly or let my eyes jump all over the page. I vaguely remember suggestions of soup bowls from real pumpkins or gourds and re-purposing your grandmother's tatting.

Anyway, when it's done, you have to get into your medical-grade support hose (full panty style, thank you) within an hour. I knew I'd be picking up my three kids and making lunch, so I went ahead and put them on in the treatment room (which itself is a comedy skit waiting to happen). If I had known then what I know now I would have relished the hour of no-stocking freedom.

I will sum up the 24 hours after with this... make sure you get professionally fitted for your support hose before zapping. Otherwise you will waste your money (and it's crazy money for these things, like $35-95 depending on what you have to go with) and worse, you'll make yourself sick (like unable to catch your breath, nauseated, massive crazy hand cramps). You'll also have to drag your children with you to the medical supply store to get your ankle, calf, thigh and hips measured the next day when you realize you can't possibly wear these things another minute.

So two pairs of support hose later and $100 poorer, I've made it to Day 4. Have to do it 3, but 5 is better. Even though my new pair is gloriously better than the gut busters I had on the first day and a half, they're no fun. It's like wearing a tight sweater inside your pantyhose. Or maybe like wrapping Ace bandages around yourself and then putting on saggy pantyhose. I don't know how they manage to be both tight and slippy and the same time, but they do.

Anyway the upside is the hose are so distracting that you never even think about the treated vein locations. They do not hurt, they didn't blister, only some bruising in one area and that isn't even bothering me, and my legs already look noticeably better. I wonder if it will once I take these hideous hose off, which will be in about 1 hour. You can somewhat ignore them sitting around the house, but I've worn them to 2 appointments, church, clothes shopping for daughters, and on last night's date night. I'm heading over to a winery where my husband plays music outside, and there is no way I can take these anymore.

Oh, I get to do this all over again in 10 days. They're going to zap the areas we didn't get to before. But I can tell you that knowing what a pain in the tush the stockings are, I'll be able to put up with whatever zapping they can dish out.

I think I get to wear my new $73 stockings on a field trip...yipee!

I'm Really Nervous About Fixing My Legs

I could blame it on my mother's genes, my three children, or my age, but whatever the cause I have unsightly spider veins in my legs (I think they might even use "unsightly" in the laser treatment brochures just in case you aren't sure if they are an attribute.)

My first real treatment is scheduled for tomorrow, and I'm increasingly nervous about it. Here's why... it HURTS! I had my test patch treatment last week. That's where they test a tiny area to make sure you can go ahead with a larger area later w/o blowing your leg up or something. I thought there would be some "discomfort" during the procedure then done deal. Well, here's the deal...it is painful while it's going on and it continues to hurt for days after...that's DAYS after. And this (currently) is a very small area. It doesn't hurt constantly for days after. It hurts constantly for 30 minutes after treatment then it just flares up every 1.5 hours or so and then the flare-ups diminish. It was 5 days ago and it still feels like a tender bruise.

Well, anyway, this is what I've signed myself up for...pain, wearing nasty support hose for 5 days afterward, and the promise that it takes at least 3-5 of these treatments, not just one, to get the job done. There are some other things I have to avoid for 5 days, like hot showers, alcohol, aspirin and such, but I'm mostly stuck on the nasty support hose and the pain. I really don't do well w/ that.

Right now I'm trying to decide how I'm going to put up w/ 15 minutes of this. Previously, I thought I would read a book. I even asked the technician if that's what people did and she said, "They might. Most people just squeeze these" (little stress relief spongy ball things you squeeze to keep from screaming your lungs out, I guess). I think the book-reading is out. Now I'm trying to decide between music combined w/ squeezy-thing or a combo of music, squeezy thing, Lamaze breathing (though it's done me no good in the past) and a left-over Valium from some dental work.

I gave birth to two of my three children w/o benefit of pain meds, but that was not by choice and I couldn't say that it was a positive experience. I keep telling myself that those experiences alone should make this pale in comparison, but here's the truth... There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop childbirth once it's time. My leg stuff is completely optional. I could wear long pants in 105 degree summers. I could let my freak-flags fly. But I don't really want to. All I have to do is keep myself glued to the chair and not run out the door screaming when she comes at me w/ the big sunglasses and laser blaster.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to need the Valium.